My Journey from Software Developer in Mexico to SAHM in Canada

Three years ago, my biggest problem was a stubborn bug that kept crashing our app at 3 AM. Last night, I was awake at 3 AM too, but this time it was because my three-year-old decided it was the perfect time for a full meltdown about the blankey. She didn’t want it near her, but she wanted to be covered by it. I miss when my problems had Stack Overflow solutions.

My Developer Life in Mexico

My days were predictably comfortable. Roll into the office by 7 AM, coffee in hand, and settle into my desk for another day of building software tools and processing data.

I was an average developer – maybe slightly above average on a good day. I wasn’t staying until midnight debugging complex algorithms, but I enjoyed it. There’s something satisfying about solving problems with code, building tools that actually help people.

My 7-to-5 routine suited me perfectly. Evenings meant meeting my now-husband for dinner at our favourite Korean food place. Weekends were for coffee dates with friends, complaining about our bosses, and planning trips we’d never take.

My problems were logical. Code either worked or it didn’t. Bugs had solutions. Everything made sense in this predictable, structured world.

I had no idea that in a few years, I’d be googling “Why won’t my toddler sleep?” at 2 AM, wishing parenting came with error logs and that my biggest daily challenge would be convincing a tiny human that pants are necessary for leaving the house.

Coming to Canada as a Software Developer

Then life threw me a curveball: immigration.

My husband got a job opportunity in Canada, and suddenly we were packing up our entire life into suitcases. I the hardest part was leaving behind everything familiar.

Turns out I was lucky professionally. My awesome boss helped me transfer to work remotely from Canada, so I kept the same job, same team, same daily routine. Just… different timezone and a whole new country outside my home office window.

Making friends in a new country when you work from home is like trying to debug code without error messages. Canadians are genuinely nice, but when your main social interaction is with the grocery store cashier and your Teams calls, building real connections felt impossible.

I missed spontaneous coffee dates and after-work dinners. Here, I’d have pleasant small talk with neighbours, but breaking through from “polite pleasantries” to “actual friendship” felt like learning a whole new social language.

For two years, I told myself this was just the adjustment period. Work was stable, people were kind, and I was slowly building a life in Canada.

Then I got pregnant, and suddenly everything I thought I knew about my life got turned upside down.

Becoming a Mother and the SAHM Decision

Then I got pregnant, and suddenly everything I thought I knew about my life got turned upside down.

Pregnancy was exhausting in ways I never expected. I could barely keep up with my regular work tasks, let alone have energy for anything else. The one bright spot? Canadian healthcare blew my mind. The doctors and nurses were incredibly kind and patient, such a contrast to Mexico where you had a 50/50 chance of getting someone having a bad day. Though I’ll admit, sometimes the language barrier made some interactions unpleasant.

Fast forward through two years of juggling remote work with a baby, then a toddler. Picture this: trying to debug code while a tiny human screams in the background, timing meetings around nap schedules that never actually happen, and pretending everything was fine on video calls while my daughter dumped an entire bowl of cereal on the floor behind me.

After two years of this beautiful chaos, I made a decision that scared me more than any career change: I quit my job.

I wanted more time with my daughter. I wanted to make our house feel like a home instead of just the place where I happened to work and sleep. I wanted to stop feeling like I was half-assing both motherhood and my career.

But here’s what nobody tells you about becoming a SAHM: letting go of the identity you’ve built around your career is harder than any technical challenge I ever faced. For years, I was “V, the software developer.” Now I’m… what exactly? And don’t get me started on the financial anxiety of going from two incomes to one.

Turns out, the biggest debugging project of my life wasn’t fixing broken code, it was figuring out who I am when I’m not defined by my job title.

Looking Forward

Here’s what I’m figuring out: I’m not the same person who left Mexico three years ago, and that’s okay. Being a SAHM isn’t about losing who I was, it’s about discovering who I’m becoming. And honestly? I’m starting to like this version of myself.

Some days I miss the logic of programming, where problems had clear solutions. Other days, my daughter says “Mommy, help” with her toy blocks, and I realize I’m building something way more complex and beautiful than any app I ever coded.

I’m learning that identity isn’t just about job titles. Whether I’m troubleshooting why my kid won’t sleep or figuring out how to keep some of our traditions alive in a new country while integrating to the new culture, I’m still the same person who doesn’t give up until I find the solution.